Get Shit Done

Today I declare as GSD day. Get Shit Done. No just talking about it and contemplating your To Do lists, it's time to take action. It's about doing the hardest task straight up & maximising these hours to truly show how productive you can be. Stop wasting time watering the garden, patting the dog (ok a few pats), searching the internet and get shit done in your business. (See no makeup pic for time management reference). Turn off phone, Facebook & email for an allocated time today & get focused on that important task. Who's joining me on GSD day today?

You are Good Enough

Do you dream of the day that you will have everything under control?

Are you frustrated that the more you strive for perfection the less perfect you believe you are?

I'm sure if juggling & multi tasking was a career in itself, us women would win a Nobel prize.

The thing is that you are striving for the ultimate perfection but what is perfect?

Perfect is the unreachable, pie in the sky that you believe other people may have achieved.

The hot shot business woman that you meet at the networking event that seems to have it all together.

You see, when you measure yourself against the best of the outside of someone else to the worst of the inside of yourself, you will never ever EVER win at that game.

Sometimes I know you get damn tired of it. Frustrated that you work so hard at being the perfect partner, Mum, house cleaner, cook and oh yeah, all balanced with running your own business. Then when you fall into bed exhausted, dreaming of that next travel destination or that massage at your favourite day spa, you remind yourself of all the things that were not done good enough today and how you will have to do better tomorrow. 

You will do that washing in the wash basket, you will be nicer to your partner, you will exercise, you will cook a nice dinner, you will eat healthy, you will volunteer at the school, you will get that project for your business finished, you will mop the kitchen floor and for heavens sake make sure you shave those hairy legs of yours :) 

It is rewarding and important to achieve in your life but when you put so much pressure on yourself to perform at a level that is absurd at times, it can leave you angry, frustrated and wanting to just hibernate under your doona and dream of an easier life. 

I want you to know this. You are Good enough. Yes, I know logically you know that and this frustrates you too. Knowing that hey I'm smart, I'm a good mum, I do a good job and then that other little mini me voice pops up and says otherwise.

It's time to invest in YOU. You are so busy taking care of everything & everyone else, what about you? You can't give your all if you have not nurtured yourself. It's your turn.

Immerse yourself in learning how to communicate with yourself in a way that empowers you. You have strategies for all the chores in your life now learn the strategies of being your own best friend. Schedule in time to work on the project of YOU. Surround yourself with those that believe in you, that are on your side and cheering you onto success. 

The journey all starts with one belief, "I AM GOOD ENOUGH."

Be kind to yourself.

 

JJ xx

 

5 Languages of Love

Relationships can be challenging & it takes teamwork, understanding and behavioural flexibility to develop a strong, sustainable, loving bond. In life, we can often come from a space of, "What's in it for me" type thinking that can prevent us from stepping into our partners world.
As individuals, we all have our own values, beliefs & life experiences that will differ from others & combined with our need to be right (our Ego), this can cause conflict and a perception of not understanding or appreciating your partner. We also may differ with how we experience & show our love to others.

The 5 love languages explored in Gary Chapman's book, helps us understand how to express & appreciate your partners love languages.

The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Receiving gifts
4. Quality time
5. Physical touch

Do you know yours & your partners love language and if so, what are you currently doing to fulfill these needs & fill up each-others love bucket?

My hubby Rocky (Yes that is his real name) & I have been together for nearly 27 years. We both share the love language of physical touch and have at least one hug a day however we differ with our top 2 languages. Mine is gifts & Rocky's is words of affirmation.

We put high importance & effort on focusing on meeting these needs even though they are not our own individual drivers in experiencing or expressing love.
So when Rocky mows the lawn, I ensure I check it out & give him positive feedback and leave notes in his lunch box from time to time with words of appreciation.
On Sunday, Rocky picked me a rose from the garden and said this is my special gift from him and this morning, I opened up my diary to see a love note in there. (Ok, stop laughing at the Boombie nickname).

My message to you is to focus on filling up each others love bucket in your relationship as often as you can. It's not just for the courting stages, make it a lifetime commitment to each other and I promise you that you will reap the rewards.

Who are you comparing yourself to?

When you compare, you often despair. As you are unique, there cannot be a balanced comparison between you and others. You may often compare the best of others as you see them from their outside persona, to the worst part of the inside of yourself. If this is your strategy, you will never win at that game. Unless this is serving you in your life, Stop it.

Focus on tapping into your own resources, practice communicating to yourself in an empowering way and be your own best coach. The best time to start doing this is Right Now.

Rip Fear off like a band-aid

Fear is a funny thing, it can stop you from living your dreams, prevent you from doing the things you know that are good for you and trick you into staying in that boring old comfort zone.
On the other hand, fear is a great thing. It protects us from dangerous situations and sends alarm bells to us as a precaution.

The thing is, they both feel the same. The fear of real danger & our perceived danger. If you are walking in the countryside and you think there is a snake next to your leg, you will feel the fear the same as if you were mistaken and it was only a rubber hose.

Often when I make decisions in life, I ask myself is it good for me, good for others & good for the greater good. Now if all these boxes are ticked then what shows up next is that this task that I need to action may initially feel good doing it or it may not. If my decision is that I am going to start running for the first time, at the beginning it may not feel good as my body gets used to the process of that action however the feel good will be there at the end when I have achieved my goal.

To achieve our goals & create the life we desire, we often may need to extend ourselves & start tasks that may not feel good to begin with and this can relate to your own fears. You may have a fear of rejection when calling up new potential clients on the phone however you know that this can help expand your business. If you let your perceived fear control you, then you will never conquer all of the goals that you dream of achieving.

It's time to nip this fear in the bud. You must take action. Just rip that fear off like a band-aid. Focus on your end goal & take that first step forward in controlling your own life. Once this first step is completed, whatever outcome you achieve, pat yourself on the back for giving it a crack. Get straight back on the bike and do it again. With action comes momentum and you are building confidence within yourself as you know that you didn't burst into flames by taking that action you feared in the past.

Think of what you would achieve in your life if you had no fear. It's up to you to choose to make fear your friend, thank it for protecting you but know that you are the one that makes the decisions and controls the direction of your life. This is your life, make it spectacular.

This too shall pass

Recently, I was talking to a beautiful lady that had lost her very much loved daughter from suicide. This is such a tragedy for all involved. There can be many reasons for people making the decision to end their life however what I do know is that most people are focusing on dis-empowering thoughts & have the delusion of lack of choice at that moment of decision.  

Life is an ever learning journey of self discover. You can have your highs where you want to jump in the air with excitement and then you can have your lows when you might feel like covering your head in bed with a doona & staying there for eternity. You think of your wedding day, when a child is born or winning that award with a smile on your face & then there may be times in dealing with a relationship breakup, grief or financial hardship. The thing is that no-one in the world is immune to the challenge that is Life. Life is designed with problems built in, it is how we see these problems & the strategies we implement to overcome them that is the key.

Please remember that when life is tough & you feel that you have no other options, know that you do. You may not see them just in that moment. I love the saying, "This too shall pass", remember this when you have a challenge & know that there is always tomorrow, next month, next year that things will look different than they do today. If you feel stuck, get professional help and if they do not help, find someone that does. You do not have to face this challenge of life alone. This is your life, make it fabulous :)

Is this You?

It's been a hectic week. In the last few weeks you have been Flat Out. The phone seems to be attached to your ear, there is yet another meeting to attend & those emails just don't stop. You're proud of the role that you have got and at first, the perks of going into the Qantas lounge, parking in valet parking & staying in fancy hotels gave you a buzz. Even though you still enjoy it, it can feel like a chore sometimes and you often wake up in your hotel bed and forget what city you are in.

You are a perfectionist, great at what you do and the person you compete with most is yourself. Achieving is very important to you and you put in the hard work & the long hours to ensure you get the best results. On the outside, you are seen to have it all. The luxury car, holiday house & kids at private schools but it can feel like you are in a time warp of busyness. You worry about sales in your business, controlling costs and getting that bottom line profit. Sometimes the pressure of being successful seems like you just have to keep working harder to keep that success. One of your biggest fears is losing it all. Then you think of work life balance & you laugh to yourself, AS IF. It's only when you are on holidays with your family that you say to yourself, "You know what, this is great, I really need to get more balance in my life". Your family agree and then 3 days back from holidays, ground hog day starts again & you forget your intention until your next holiday comes around.

Travelling away from home & being in a busy role means that you haven't got as much time with the people you love. Your friends ask, "Where have you been stranger?" Family have left messages on your phone & still waiting for you to return their call. You get home exhausted and then you have your partner wanting to catch up with you on all the news you have missed & the kids are wanting your attention. You nod your head pretending to listen as you balance the emails on your laptop & the text messages on your phone. The kids run off, knowing that you are again Too Busy & your partner mumbles something that you think was, "You never make time to listen to me". Even your dog gives you a concerned look as if they don't know you anymore.

Often people live in a world of being busy that they don't stop to live in the moment. We often label our own identity with the role that we have. We are a CEO etc but you are SO much more than that. You may be a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a son, a daughter, a friend, you have many roles to play. You may have heard stories of people that have been in a role for a long time & retire then feel completely lost as they don't know who they are anymore. Their physical or mental health can take a toll as a consequence. The thing is, it doesn't have to be this way. Can you have a successful career, be a high achiever & have more harmony in your life. Hell yeah!!

Often it is the high achieving successful people that don't put up their hand for support. They can see vulnerability or getting support as weakness where it is actually the highest form of courage. You may think, no-one can help me unless they give me more hours in a day, you think this because that is all you know. When I coach my clients I often talk about the 3 areas of thinking. 1. What you know you know. 2. What you know you don't know (which is the area most people focus on to grow) and the most important area is 3. What you don't know, you don't know. Tapping into this third area is where the Gold is. Stretching your boundary of thinking so that you can Be More, Achieve More & have even more of a happy & fulfilling life.

You never see anyone's tombstone saying, "John Doe, worked 50 hours a week & was a successful General Manager". This is your life and relationships are the key to happiness. There is always room for self growth and to have a strong understanding of self & others, together with strategies that will enhance your life, these are all available to you.

If this person sounds a bit like you, it doesn't have to be this way. You deserve better.